Wearing It Well

Confidence is akin to a perfectly tailored suit, some seem to be born with it, others cultivate it over time, and the rest simply master the art of illusion. I, for one, have spent years refining my "I absolutely belong here" expression while internally debating whether I should have simply stayed home with a novel and a glass of wine.

However, true confidence is not the absence of self-doubt; it is the ability to move through life as though you either own the establishment or are blissfully unaware of who does. So, let’s explore the art of walking with purpose, even when inwardly you are composing a rather compelling argument for immediate retreat.

The Walk of Elegance

The phrase "walk tall" exists for a reason. There is an undeniable air of authority in a woman who glides into a room with poise and intent. I learned this through trial and error after years of entering jazz bars with the hesitant energy of someone either trespassing or about to confess to an ill-conceived scheme. Then, one evening, I decided to experiment. Shoulders back, chin lifted, and the unhurried stride of a woman whose presence is anticipated (even if only by a dear friend saving a seat in an elegant corner booth).

The result? Waiters acknowledged me with deference, individuals who previously overlooked me suddenly took notice, and, perhaps the greatest revelation, people actually stepped aside for me on the pavement. Astonishing.

Dress as Though You May Be Photographed

Nothing bolsters confidence quite like an ensemble that suggests you belong in a cinematic masterpiece. I once entered a café wearing a crimson coat so divine that I momentarily believed myself to be a Bond femme fatale. Did I ultimately spill my oat milk latte down its lapel? Certainly. But for those fleeting moments, I exuded an aura of effortless grandeur.

Beyond the aesthetic, there is something inherently powerful about being well-dressed. It communicates self-respect, an appreciation for detail, and an understanding that one's presence is worth acknowledging. I have always believed that dressing well is not about impressing others; it is about reminding oneself of the value one brings to the world. A meticulously chosen outfit does not make you confident, but it certainly acts as an armour, one that makes you feel prepared to conquer the day, or at the very least, to pretend you have everything under control.

The Power of Indifference

True confidence is not about an absence of missteps; it is about the mastery of indifference. The moment you realise that the world is not meticulously documenting your every minor blunder, life becomes significantly more palatable.

For instance, there was the time I confidently waved at an acquaintance across the street. It was not, in fact, my acquaintance. Oh well.

Or the evening I assertively placed my order at a French bistro, only to discover I had just requested "a table for one tomato." Oh well.

Confidence is not synonymous with perfection, it is the ability to embrace the absurdities of life with composure and charm. The most captivating individuals are not those who never err, but those who handle their errors with humour and elegance. The difference between awkwardness and allure is often just the ability to say, "Oh well," and move on.

Speak with Conviction

Have you ever observed that truly confident individuals never preface their statements with "Sorry, but…"? They simply articulate their thoughts with assurance. So, the next time you feel the urge to apologise for your existence, channel your inner monarch and speak as though your words warrant unwavering attention. (And, indeed, they should.)

More importantly, confidence is about owning your voice. Whether in a meeting, at a dinner party, or even in a casual conversation, speak as though what you have to say is worth listening to, because it is. Too often, we diminish our own voices out of fear of being "too much" or "not enough." But consider this: the most powerful individuals in history were not those who hesitated or whispered. They were the ones who spoke, who took up space, who refused to be ignored. And you, my dear, deserve to be heard.

Curate a Circle of Admirers

Confidence flourishes in the company of those who uplift you. I once spent an evening with a friend whose natural inclination is to elevate the self-esteem of everyone within her orbit. "You are radiant." "Your presence is magnetic." "If he fails to respond, it is undoubtedly because he is utterly unworthy." By the end of the evening, we were collectively convinced we could orchestrate a global movement.

The lesson? Surround yourself with individuals who remind you of your inherent brilliance. People who see your value, who celebrate your achievements, and who—when necessary—remind you that you are far too extraordinary to be doubting yourself over trivial matters.

Equally important is the removal of those who thrive on diminishing your confidence. The world is full of individuals who find security in the insecurity of others. Do not allow them access to your energy. Confidence is not just built by what we add to our lives, but by what we remove.

The Grand Conclusion: Poise in Every Step

If confidence does not come naturally, then cultivate it. Walk as though you have an exclusive engagement awaiting you, even if it is merely a leisurely stroll to the florist. Wear the impeccable attire. Laugh at your own delightful absurdities. Drink your coffee as though you are the protagonist in an Oscar-winning film.

And most importantly (whether you walk like a queen or like you remain blissfully unaware of who the queen is) the secret lies in continuing to walk.

Now, my darling, go forth and command the room.