Privacy Is Power

I used to believe that openness was the key to connection. That in order to build real relationships, you had to let people in completely unfiltered, raw, and without hesitation. I wore my heart on my sleeve, thinking that honesty and vulnerability would guarantee understanding. But what I didn’t realise was that not everyone deserves full access to you. Not everyone needs to know your thoughts, your plans, your heartbreaks, or your next move.

There’s power in privacy.

In your 20s, you start to see the difference between people who truly care about you and those who are just collecting pieces of you to use for their own benefit. You learn the hard way that sharing too much, too soon can lead to heartbreak, not just in love, but in friendships, at work, and even within your own family. So, I decided to become intentional with what I share. To live my life away from the sense of constant exposure and unwanted opinions.

It’s not about being secretive; it’s about being selective.

I curate my presence carefully. I give people just enough to feel like they know me, but not enough to let them in completely. It’s not deception, it’s self-preservation. I keep my biggest dreams to myself until they’re real enough to stand on their own. I share my struggles only with the people who have proven they can hold space for them. And when it comes to love, I guard my heart, because I’ve learned that some people only want access to it, not to protect it.

Privacy is a form of control in a world that constantly demands more from you. Social media makes us believe that we owe people our thoughts, our pictures, our relationships, and our emotions in real-time. But we don’t. I’ve found that the less I share, the more at peace I feel. I move in silence. I let people wonder. I don’t post my lows, and I don’t always post my highs. Some moments belong only to me.

And let me tell you, glowing in private? It’s an elite level of peace.

There’s something deliciously powerful about making moves in the dark, only for people to wake up one day and realise, "Oh, she’s thriving? She’s been thriving? And we had no clue?" Yup. That’s the goal. Minding my business, drinking my water, handling my money, taking care of my body, and maybe, just maybe, flirting a little with a mysterious stranger who also understands the art of discretion.

Because honestly, some things just hit different when they’re not on the internet. Like a great date that nobody gets to analyse. Like achieving a goal and letting your success speak for itself. Like running into someone who thought you’d never make it and smiling because you did, without announcing it on your Instagram story.

Does this mean I’m cold? Guarded? Maybe. But I’d rather be misunderstood than overexposed.

So, to the 20-something woman reading this, wondering if you should text back, overshare, or tell the world your next step, pause. Ask yourself: Does this person deserve this part of me? If the answer isn’t a strong yes, keep it to yourself. Protect your peace. Let them wonder.

Because privacy isn’t just power, it’s freedom. And trust me, nothing looks better on you than being unbothered, flourishing, and just a little mysterious.