Broke Up-Glowed Up
Listen, we’ve all been there. One minute, you’re in love, picking out baby names (just for fun, obviously), and the next, you’re in your bedroom with mascara-streaked cheeks, dramatically whispering, “How did we get here?” to an empty wine bottle.
Ah, breakups. They hit different when you really thought he was the one. But you know what else hits different? The glow up that comes after.
So, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how I went from feeling like an abandoned sock in the rain to being the most radiant, thriving version of myself. And if you’re currently knee-deep in the breakup blues, babe, grab a tub of ice cream, and let’s get through this together.
Step 1: The Wallowing Phase (a.k.a. My Sad Girl Era)
Look, I’m all for toxic positivity, but let’s be real, you have to wallow. None of this "just move on" nonsense. No, you must marinate in your feelings like a sad little dumpling.
For me, this phase looked like:
Crying in the shower (because it makes you feel like you’re in a tragic music video, obviously)
Listening to sad playlists titled things like heartbreak hotel and men are trash
Texting my best friend every three minutes with updates like, "I just saw a pigeon that reminded me of him."
Eating my emotions in the form of an entire block of brie, cranberry and a shit load of focaccia.
And let’s not forget the social media stalking. Oh, darling, I went deep. I didn’t just check his Instagram… I checked his sister’s best mate’s cousin’s dog’s profile just to see if he had liked a post. Spoiler: he had. Double spoiler: I spiralled.
Step 2: The Awakening (Realising You’re That Girl)
One morning, after crying into my third cup of tea, I looked in the mirror and thought, enough. I was tired of being the sad girl. I wanted to be the girl that makes him check my Instagram and cry into his cup of tea. Yeah, I said it.
So, I made a plan:
The hair transformation – Nothing says I’m thriving like a dramatic hair change. (I did not, however, cut bangs because I still had some self-respect.)
The gym era – Not necessarily to get ‘revenge body’ fit, but to release the rage via squats and 40+ mins on the stair master.
The wardrobe upgrade – I threw out anything that made me feel like I was still in my "girlfriend" phase. It was time for main character energy. And by that, I mean I created a capsule wardrobe of items I actually enjoyed wearing. Tops that made my boobs look amazing, jeans that hugged my bum perfectly, and heels that make me taller than every man in any room I walked into. Boom. Insane confidence boost.
The social life reboot – Instead of sobbing into my duvet, I said yes to every invite. Brunch? Yes. Random salsa class? Why not. A holiday I couldn't afford? Put it on the credit card, baby. (Not that I recommend or suggest getting in debt, ladies.)
Step 3: The Glow Up (When You Become Unstoppable)
Ah, the sweet spot. When you wake up one day and realise… you’re over it. Not just pretending. Not just posting a hot selfie and deleting it when he doesn’t like it. Truly over it. The feeling where the cucumber in the fridge doesn’t remind you of him (ifykyk).
At this stage:
Your skin is glowing because you’ve finally stopped crying every night.
You’re genuinely laughing with your friends instead of using them as unpaid therapists.
You’re too busy enjoying life to care what he’s up to (although, when he does eventually slide into your DMs, it’s chef’s kiss satisfying to leave him on read).
Heartbreak sucks, but do you know what sucks even more? Staying in the heartbreak when you have a whole life waiting for you. A breakup is not the end of your story – it’s just the plot twist before your bad bitch era begins.
So if you’re in the trenches right now, trust me, babe, the glow up is coming. And when it does? Oh, it’s over for them.
Stay fabulous. Xoxo
